Great Way To Kill The Mood

I hate her.

I don't say that very often so my word do ring true. I really do. This isn't even a 'whaaa, I hate my family they don't understand me thing'. No, it's a why would you fucking do that to your own son thing.
Seriously, how dare she.
She didnt even tell me she was going to do it, never expected it, all she told me was that she was going to start it up, so of course I handed her the keys, and what did she do when I was away...
Sell my car.
How? Why? I don't care anymore. She was the one who ruin our relationship, and now I doubt it will ever be repaired.
Trust is everything to me, and what do I do when I can't even trustto one who I should love the most?

I look back at the weekend, and I wonder why I was so naieve. I had the greatest weekend, and it tainted buy this. All of those people I met, all of the things I did, all of it, shadowed by the sick relixation thast I cant trust my mother.

She dosnt even understand what I went through, why I coulnt get it on the road, she wasnt even fucking there, so how the fuck would she know.....
How!?

No, I can't do this anymore, I need some time to sleep, and to think about it all...

The Necrosis of a High Speed Pursuit

Last night was fun.
Justin is fucking awesome, and work went by with ease. As long as your with the people you like work can be how ever you want it...
Not the point.

After work me and Kevin went on a high speed pursuit. It was awesome. Makes me want to start our private detective agency. Marotta/Masalaz, renegade detectives...

Awesome, pure awesome....

Necronomicon is this weekend, leaving for it in in an hour or so. I can only hope its fun...
I know I'll have a few good stories....

Speeking of stories, I'm going to start writing them more often on the Hub, I need to cronical what my book will be about. I think I'm gonna call, The life and Times of a Jerk Named Zooma (and his nicer personality Peter)...

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Now playing: Death Cab For Cutie - I Will Possess Your Heart

The Working Process of Friendship

I've been so disjointed the last few week...
Between the whole computer failing issue, I also had some personal stuff to deal with, but thats not quite that important...

So many things has happened in those three weeks, I don't know where to begin...

I tell Estevon that time will heal all wounds (not quite in that phrasing). The whole Kristina ordeal has hit not just them, but everyone hard, and it sucks. i use to tell myself I wouldn't pick a side, but I want Estevon to be my best man. Eventually. How could I hurt my friendship over a single person. Same with Carlie. I'm sure Carlie still talks to Krystina, but I'm sure the bond between the two will never be the same. I've been wanting to talk to her about everything that has happened, but I cant bring myself to do it. Half fear of Estevon's reaction, half fear of what will happen. I fell as if I abbandoned a friend, and it kills me, whats she's going throgh must be worse.

A Tale as Long as Time...

Sigh...

It sucks when you see a friend in pain.
It's even worse when you see your best friends who has always been there for you in emotional pain.

The sad part is, we all saw this coming, we all saw that it would eventually have to come down to them breaking up, it was inevitable. But we didn't see how hard it would hit all of us. Top that with not know what to do about it. It just sucks.

Only time will tell, sadly enough.

Pain, Break Steady.

Life at this moment sucks.

Trying to get in shape is hard, but as your trying to do it, you get a gum infection, on top of your wisdom tooth acting up, on top of a cracked tooth, its hard.

Last week, nothing seemed to be helping, lack of sleep, and the incredible pain was kiling me. All night I would wander back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. Now I know what a zombie feels like. Hell, I was even moaning...

Meditation was working for a while. During thise sleepless nights I would sit there, blank and empty. I just let go of everything, and the pain left. Then I would break out of it, and the pain would come back, and I woulden't be able to get back into that state of mind.

Yesterday was the worse, but I was saved.

It's go to know I always have people there for me.

Now that I'm on the regiment of Biaxin, and Vicodin (which only costed 5$) I'm feeling better, but its still gonna be a long week.

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Now playing: We Are Scientists - Can't Lose

This is what it should be like...

"This is what living is like..."
When Troy said this, it made me realize how good I have it. He looked so in place there, on the green of the golf course. He was at home there, you could see it in his eyes. True happiness...

Thats why I understand what Esty is doing. He is really looking deep inside him self, look for who he really is, and I admire him for it, kinda...

I found myself a long time ago, I don't remember the exact time it happened, bu when it did it was a light bulb. An epiphany of sorts.

Being there, on that walk with the guys, just walking, no care of anything in the world, we were living the moment.

As random as this is, and as drunk I am now...

This is life...

DRUNK v2.5

So... yeah my heart was just broken, and Esty is making me feel terrible about it all.

BTW its v2.5 cause I wrote a 2.0 and no one will ever see it again. I was so drunk I didnt publish the post. I did save it some where...

Maybe I'll do a lost posts post...

Fukkin screwdrivers are ruining my night.

I wish I wasn't drunk, I want to witness this event...

I want to just... urgh....

Sigh...

Drunken realities are the worst cause they bring out the fear and loathing I have for this pitifully excuse of a world.

Now thats a line for the book...

A Hewlet Wet Dream

Steam'n It Up, Punk'n It Down.

Skye called me late last night, asking if I could come over to help her paint a gun.
Hmmm...
So instintly I asked her if she was making a steam punk costume for Necronomicon. Of couse I was right on the money. The think that dumbfounds me is that allot of us are making steam punk costumes, and no one talked to each other. We all had the same idea at diffrent times. So like the bringer of worlds I am, I'm tring to get togeather a Tampa Steam Punk group.

So I o over to Skye's to help her on her steam mission. So we took apart her nerf gun, and painted it as well as my lanturn, and both of our googles.

It came out great, amazing more like it. Now I have my idea in head, and it involves two costumes for Necro, as well as a steam pimp cane and my amazing lanturn.
I'm happy its all coming togeather, and hopefully I can keep this costume, and use it many conventions. Necronomicon is going to a-mazing.

What ever happened to munchkin night!?

Seriously, I'm tired of this, lets get together to play munchkin, but wait lets all have serious talks, then pretend it didn't happen just to let it happen again in the not so near future.

The good part of the night was werewolf. Can't a black man stay alive for more then two minuets? Carlos played and enjoyed it, but he left cause damn, munchkin was over.

Esty got real drunk, real quick. That's what happens when the talks get to you, but what ever.

I took three shots so esty wouldn't, and that was how I got the headache.

The headache ruined the night for me, but I endured, like always...

Anyway, food is here, so I must go...

Don't Be That Gamer

Urgh, I'm so tired.

For the last week, I've been doing nothing but hanging out.
When I should easily relax at home, now that its empty...

Anyway, last nite, Nick became That Gamer. I knew as soon as the PS2 came out, all sorts of me being angry as fuck would came out, so I took a wonder power nap, and awoken to Nick pissing everyone off. Oh does everyone hate That Gamer. You know, the one who players the same game over and over again, just knowing there is satisfaction in making your friends hate playing games with them. Tiring everyone around you away from liking that game genre. Yeah, thats Nick...

So, knowing my limits, I kept quiet, and played animal crossing, a game so the oppisite of angry, you wouldn't even believe.

HALO would of been fun...

I'm drunk!

I blogging this shit...

Seriously guys....
I can't belive I just stole carlies sidekick to blog...
Omg...
Oh my fucking god.....

So....
Ben is also drunk, in utah....
Omg.....

Oh my fucking god....

So.....

SO....

Blank.....
Nick is pale....

Blah.....
I'm drunk.....

Julissa is leaving, and this is serious bussniss...

Chris is pleaving me, and I can't stand one my two leggs when nick can stand on both....

Aperently this is the best night ever...

Nick is actuly drunk...
He took a dpouble shot
Cat hat....

I must remember this nite
This was a triumph....
A huge sucessess
Corie can't fuck up....
Julissa must break up with adam....

Zomg
Zo my fucking god canoodles...

Aim speaks is awsomesssssssssss
I'm a sneaky snake,
Not to be conmfuses with a slut....
Leik leeron.....

Omg
Oh my fucking god this blog is epic
What is this!

Troy is awsome possum which by the way was mine first....

Can't walk must blog....
What the fuck....

God nick is hairy....

I must sit now....

Were a little drunk....
Sammy is spider cat....
Troy had beeer breath
Corie coulda had a v8
Its clean up time, and esty made his own version

Clarity is golden and I must go....

Did I tell you I was drunk....
So long and thanks for all the fish...
Excuse me for the typos....

Good nite sweet princesss...


Nick is drunk... super awsom possum kwaii xd

Sun, Fun, Done, and Shun...

Highway star will always be forged in my mind...
Not as a good thing, but as the point in which I lost it.
I literally lost it.
"I'm a highway way... disk read error"

fifty three songs in and it happens at "Highway fucking Star"

The beach fulfilled me though, seeing Tom was great, and I had always liked the fact no matter how shitty play Rock Band for 6 hours and then having a disk read error make it all for nothing. the beach will always make it better.

Lani likes Tom...
Tom likes Lani...
But its never that simple, is it?

I get home, shower, sleep, Ben calls, dance time!

Benis truly unhappy, and it kills me to see him that way. I cant even put my finger on it, buthe always seems so ,miserable.

The Halfway House of Revolution

So it happened, the amazing Carlie/JP alliance has broken up.

Doesn't that suck...
To have to choose between two friends and forge an alliance with one, only tyo have to hate the other on morals.

Sigh~

Cloverfield, Swat, and the Return of Fun.

Ah, the joys of fun...
Its back...

Lemme explain.
You see, Amtgard hasn't been fun in a long time, sure ilike the people there, but its not fun, you knbow, that thing we always wanted it to be...

But after a long.. long talk, it is now fun again!
We play roughly 3 games, two of witch were fukken fun. The first was a short line ditch, and the second was a two team capture the flag.

Goddamn...

Lets not speak of that game...

I hate Verse. OMFG I hate him.
And I let him know that...
Its not enough...

Fake Tales of Sanfransisco

Ah, good ol' Carlie...

Tis was her birthday this past week. And it was amazing!
The short list (cause I have to go to hell (work).

Juno [Good]
Skye [fun]
Halo with Bug [Interesting]
Sushi with Skye and Jeff [AMAZING]
Teknokenkrite [AWESOME]
Drive time to Carabbas [fun up till we had to get JP, who play off ditching his girlfriend like it was his plan all along when we all know guilt got to him...]
Sleep [Priceless]

A new fuck, a new song, a new map...

Its like a virus, it really is.
So last nite, playing HALO with Hazard, we came across Lehaxor, a good friend of ours in the XBLA. It was all going good... well, until he started saying, 'Are you serious".

Nothing is wrong with saying that.

At all.

Its the fact that he was saying it really gay. and not even the good gay.

Every time he came across an enemy, or killed a guy, or even got killed, he said this, or even when me and Hazard said something.
A basic conversation would o like this...

Zooma: "OMG I just fought that guy for 30 seconds for rockets"
Lehaxor: "Are you serious?"
Zooma: "I fucking hate you."

On the flip end of life. Crystal got fired from work, again. Sigh...
I miss her already. She was the kindest person I have ever know, she was just so sweet, and nice, and pretty...
but her faith and terrible choice in friends was her ultimate downfall. And I do blame tom, I really do. He could of came in, and saved her from this terrible fate, and he didn't, he kinda left me in the cold. I'm mad at him now that I think about it...

Life is good right now, I do miss amtgard, but is that a good thing after all. the last few times I went, I had no drive o play at all...
maybe cause it was a Sunday, but still, I seems like I burned out...
Sadness...

I found a few new awesome sites, I'll post them in links...

Vodka Pong, and Crotchless Panties

My job makes me sad.
It truly does.

I go in to gather my check, and I leave with 5 minuets on the clock, wtf...

So Myra propositions me to go hang out with her and her friends.
(On a side note, I like her friends but, like Myra, they are draining, just draining in every way possible.)

Cool, but no. Hookah isn't enough to have me sit with her friends, but, she said Gabby was going.

Now ever since Malissa gave me the news that Gabby was leaving us soon, I have been wanting the need to hangout with her, She is a really good friend, and I do miss her. So I had to go.

So as we get into the house that Myra should in no way have a key to, and scare the shit out of her friends, we all chill out, and agree to go hookha.

Oh the Maridian, how I love you so.

Now here is the weird part.
Though a series of events Myra asks me out through Texts. Now it was weird. I half think she thinks I like her, and half think she thinks she just wants a relationship.

Yadda, yadda, yadda.... I said no.

So after a terrible Hookha named PB&J, we get the munchies (go fig), and go to Taco Bell. Never has a taco ever been so greasy, and so delicious in my entire life. It was heaven in tortilla form.

The wall mart,and the picking up of random people from the walmart was fun. And it seemed as if everyone kinda knew everyone already so thats was coo'. Then Mayra got naked, real naked, and that was awkward...

Gaby told me something that me me lolacaust, she said "I feel out, cause I haven't slept with anyone here."

That was funny, what was also funny was the thought of using hand sanitizer as lube...
Think About.

But the best part of the night was teh fact that I played Vodka-Pong, and lost...

Fucking Tati...

The Charade of Munchkin

Yes, yes, yes, I went over to Rojas's new place. As painfully as I thought it was going to be, it was only slightly not enjoyable.

The problem with us all going over there was the fact that it seem as if he never wanted us to be there in the first place. If I was going to throw a house warming party, I would at least be welcoming. But instead we get cold shouldered angry Estevon for most of the night.

Now, We did see, 'No Country For Old Man' Which I enjoyed throughly, but it seemed everyone else seem to hate, well, everyone except JP, who I seem to bond with allot. It was weird, but at least I know know I'm not the only one who breathes out of one nostril.

Yadda yadda yadda, we played charades. Chicks vs Dicks...
Dare I say it, Dicks kicked some vagina ass.
I gotta say, for it being JP's first time playing charades, he was fucking good at it...

Then came blackie, it was her birthday, so that was neat, to bad I have to miss her party Monday, what can I say, work sucks.

We also played Muchkin, but we don't talk about that...

Torpid Bordem

I'm sitting here, I'm my room, leaning in my tilted chair watching Made. Where did life go? Oh yeah, straight to hell...

It's sad to think that my job hates so much, that they only schedule me on the days they need me to do stuff, cause I'm the only one who knows how to do it. Its equally more pathetic to think that I'm going to sit here and take it. It makes you think...

In, my sudden burst of free time, I have found an amazing new RPG online called FORUMWARZ. (I'll put a link in my links tab). It's stupendously fun, and retardedly funny.

So, I'm gonna type up a resume, and give it to Mom tomorrow. Damn I want a job at CGS. It would get me out of this life rut I'm in, and even get me on a straight track... hopefully...